It's funny that I'm writting here. - suppose it serves some purpose to me. There is always this question. It's cliche I know but, I still wonder... Does anyone else feel like I do? Closed off. I think I do it to myself. Unintentional but true - think it's some kind of defence mechanism, I don't want be like this. Closing myself off, but I guess part of me does.... Yep I'm afraid of the world. It's hard to remember to keep on top of myself, and to recognize life for how beautiful it is. Even now doing this and being in this dark place with these "bad goings on" I'm here and alive and a witness to all of it and stuggling through. The struggle itself is amazing! All our little dramas always going on. And they arte soooo important! Truthfully and sarcastically. Their inimportance is important to the existance of everything. I could lose everything and slump into a severly deep depression, but that slumping and that depressing is directly equal to creation, it means I'm creating this little tiny piece of the great All. I'm like one of Voltrons lions.

It is amazing how closed off we all are, all we see is straight ahead, from within our own head. All we see is about ourselves, and not really seeing the All, or how we are actually a part of *.and yet we are all concerned about how we fit into the * that we miss just being it.

So I guess I've answered my own question... I'm not alone in feeling alone and closed off.